Updated: January 16

Today, I am celebrating.

Still, how can I know where this is leading?

In late 2019, after 8 and a half years dedicating myself to developing and strengthening the culture, people, and outcomes at a nonprofit, my role was eliminated. While I do not identify who I am with what I do to earn a paycheck, I did feel devastated, angry, disillusioned, and a little lost. 

Still, I was ready for a new adventure. Now in my late 30s, I’ve accomplished much throughout my career–happily so–and have more recently decided that shifting my course feels right. It feels needed.

With the credentials of a Master’s degree to my name and a 15+ year career, throughout the past months I have pursued roles that excite me; some that feel beyond my experience; some that feel safe; and others that feel like “just in case.” I have interviewed and provided work samples and networked and attended workshops to improve every aspect of my approach.  To no avail (yet). 

Such an important word — “yet.”

Certainly I have had dark days where nothing seems to be working and worry creeps into my mind. I am bolstered by a loving family and a strong network of friends who are like family. I’ve allowed them to lift me up by sharing my fears and anxieties. 

I’ve also learned to be open to experiment in finding a new path. A path that may be hidden behind an overgrown bush, perhaps.

One of my greatest motivations is this: 

“If there’s a little bit of fear, you’re going in the right direction.” 

Wise words from Susan Jeffers in her book “Feel the Fear, and do it anyway.”

These words have been both my guiding light as I’ve navigated an open road these past months and a comforting cushion as I’ve reached what feel like dead ends.

When a new idea surfaces of how I might like to earn money doing something that I both enjoy and am great at, I’m often fearful of failure. I read Betty’s words again. I post them in places where I cannot forget them. And then I jump! 

I dive into learning what it might take for me to get started with this new idea. 

I don’t deny that I’m frightened about investing money, time, energy. Instead, I own that I am frightened. I allow that fear only so much space as I charge ahead. That fear becomes, then, a guiding light. 

What am I fearful of? 

–> Name it. Write it down. 

Then, address it. 

**Is it real? 

–> Yes? Ok. Consider solutions for managing my decisions around this element. 

–> No? Great. Then, let it go. (Easier said than done. These activities help: exercise, yoga, meditation, journal, talk it out with a friend). 

And this is how my guiding light has also become my comforting cushion. I have come to accept that in testing out new paths, I may find a wall I cannot climb or an obstacle that isn’t worth overcoming. Acceptance is key. There is no harm in either of these things. 

In fact, I become stronger for the attempt and the opportunity to learn from it. 

I am celebrating today. Some recent developments excite me about the possibilities of who I am, what I have to offer, and how I can contribute to others’ happiness (something I take great delight in being a part of).

I am on a journey that has changed the nature in which I work. And, as a close friend said, “If the nature in which you’re working has changed, then there is progress.” 

Knowing where the path leads isn’t crucial at this point. What is vital, is that I celebrate the journey: the experimentation, the willingness to persevere even when I feel low, the vulnerability to share, and the openness to receive. 

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Addendum: Guys, my friends are my family. Oftentimes someone says something that really resonates with me, and I then have a choice to either act on it by pondering it deeply or to physically do something. We each contribute to others’ lives, especially those we hold dear. In this case, my dear friend Michel Laclé shared his father’s insightful quote:

“If the nature in which you’re working has changed, then there is progress.”

This quote is what spurred me to write the above article but more importantly to recognize that my experimentation and dedication have shifted my world (something to be proud of!)–and I’m forever grateful.

Michel has an artist’s eye for shapes and experiences shared on his Instagram channel and is a cloud architect and software developer who is currently providing webinars and other cool services via his blog.